A mid-summer's night purging and painting project turned into a small self portrait series when it came time to return things to the shelf. The exercise: Pick something that was given to you. Then relate this object to a quality which the giver also gave to you. Sort of a round about game of (what) "superpowers" (do you possess).
My inner drag queen. Self Portrait as drag queen (shown) by Angela Ellsworth.
My (bio)mother gave me:
BRAVADA
Being that I'm such a sourpuss about her, I was trying to think of something nice (a quality) that she'd given me along with the often beautiful, though rarely thoughtful, durable goods and gifts throughout my life.
My grandmother gave me:
INTIMACY
These are the blues from my grandmother's collection of thread that she brought home from the sweatshop she worked in.
My (RosenClaire) mothers gave me:
CLARITY
They gave us each one of these glass eggs during a LaCip workshop. It's very sweet and small. The size of those Cadbury Chocolate eggs.
My father gave me:
TRUE VALUE
When I was around 8 yrs old, my brother and I were both sick. My father came home with a gift for each of us. Mine was a novelty pencil that had 50 interchangeable colored leads, which I likely pined for incessantly. At a very early age, I was taught the worth of a dollar (it cost $3.50, which was a lot), but I think what I carried away from that day was actually the true value of the gesture (the True Value MEDium).
Incidentally I tried for most of Friday afternoon to find a like version of that pencil. Most people knew what I was talking about, but hadn't seen them since the 70-80's as well. In the end . . . I grabbed a bunch of colored pencils from the studio as a place saver symbol. When I brought them home, I realized I had 39 of them (my age, at least until tomorrow, hence all this purging and introspection of late). I spread them out and by chance found . . . . "true value" among the lot. It's what I was thinking about, I just hadn't expected it to be so spelled out. (oh...I know, I spend way too much time reading into things, but I like fairy tales.)
Roger gave me:
LOVE/KINDNESS
This little pendant is shaped like an infinity symbol.
Jade in Chinese culture is said to symbolize enduring love. Curiously enough, I gave this gift back. Metaphorically, I still can't seem to own or accept it and struggle with it daily.
The Goodin-Cronans gave me:
HOPE
A wedding present of sorts. At their reception, I found a baby pearl in my oyster.
Toni Ann gave me:
SECURITY
Found in the rubble of a New Jersey construction site, it has followed me to all the places that I’ve lived. I’ve always felt I had a guardian angel. Even the sangoma in South Africa told me so.
